Decision-Making Tips + Boundary Affirmations

Hi Reader,

Every big decision you leave unmade drains you.

It drains you of your time, taking up space in your mind and commandeering your thoughts.

It drains you of your energy, as you vacillate between the options again and again.

And in many cases, it drains you of your audacity as you start to lose trust and confidence in yourself to choose well.

To be clear, I'm not talking about the paint color you haven't chosen for your living room (although even smaller decisions take up space in our minds if we don't create containers for them).

I'm talking about the decisions that feel so precious, so important, that they could change the entire trajectory of our life.

Do I end the relationship? Do I take the leap? Do I make the move? Do I use my voice? Do I make the commitment? Do I quit the job?

These are the life-changing questions that can haunt us.

Here are 3 things that can offer immediate relief.

1) You can choose to be ok with not knowing.

This is a big one. If you feel the pressure to make a decision, but may be missing information or not ready yet, you can choose to relieve yourself of the pressure to make it right now. There is a BIG difference between not making a decision while expecting yourself to, and not making a decision because you've chosen to give yourself time. If you decide to be ok with not knowing right now, it's helpful to do two things: 1) Set a time when you'll check back in with yourself on the decision. 2) Decide how you'll stay engaged with the process of gathering insight and information in the meantime.

2) You can choose "wrong."

Let's get one thing straight - you can do whatever you want to do. You can choose the comfortable option that keeps things the same or the expansive option that moves things forward. You can choose to run back into the fire of the lesson you need to learn or choose differently than you ever have before. Either way, there will be valuable experiences, whether they appear as lessons or further alignment. Choosing, learning from, and engaging with life IS the experience of living.

3) You can change your mind.

While there are many big decisions that are quite irreversible (having children, for example), most are relatively flexible. It might feel hard to choose differently if you ever do, but it's helpful to ground yourself in whether it's possible. Remembering this can feel like the difference between walking into a room with no exit (many of us have a room like this that we love and choose), or walking into a room with doors that can be opened at any moment.

If you want support in making a decision or more fully committing to a decision you've already made, you're invited to book a 60-minute Decision-Making Session.

​

​

​[Self-Awareness] Discover your human design type - This tool for self-knowledge and awareness is a powerful one. As a 6/2 Manifestor, I've learned how to use my "type" to stay energized, interact with others, and more. If you're interested in a reading, reach out to my friend and reader Jess Della Calce.

​[Time-Saver] An app that knows all the WiFi passwords - I just learned about this game-changing app that crowdsources WiFi passwords across 200+ countries. Never waste time hunting down the waiter or barista to ask for the password again.

​[Journal Prompts] 12 big questions for big authenticity energy - My latest Instagram post offers 12 prompts to help you stop living as a watered-down version of yourself and step more fully into your authentic power.

​

I do not displace my needs for other people’s comfort. I require safety, respect, and supportive energy from the people I surround myself with. Anyone unable or unwilling to align with these mutual relational offerings is not welcome.

I am clear in communicating my truth. I set boundaries, tell people what is a “yes” and what is a “no” for me, and make decisions after checking in with how I feel and what I think. I invite others to communicate the same to me and welcome their truth as helpful information.

I offer grace to myself. I am able and willing to see where I showed up in a misaligned way and graciously carry the lesson forward. I am ok with making mistakes and intentional about learning from them.

I offer grace to others. I am able and willing to get curious about why they show up as they do. I balance allowing room for others to make mistakes while upholding my boundaries when those mistakes impact me.

I prioritize my well-being when I make decisions and as I navigate life. I am willing to disappoint people when meeting their expectations comes at the expense of my wellness. I do not need to explain or defend my choice to be and do well.

I’m not afraid to let go of what isn’t for me. I know that when I say “no” I’m clearing out space for my “yes.” Gaining what I want and need in life far outweighs the loss attached to releasing what is not for me. When I let go, I step further into my power of choice.

​

​

​
​